October 30, 2010


The umrah visa pictures. Ugh look at them cheeks.
My skirt for the hi-tea is something like this. But I might have to sew in the lining. The lining now is kinda short. Teehee.

I'll take pictures when I feel like it. I just got back my memory card.

pictures via gary pepper vintage

you say 'Goodbye' and i say 'Hello'

October 29, 2010

I have such difficulties writing out what I feel. Although I know I want to but every time I type it all out I just eventually hit the backspace button. If and only if feelings could just be erased with a single backspace, I think I'd be fine.

But I think I should try writing this out. So, I'll start as Mei once told me way back when. I feel sad. It's so many things really. I know I'm not good enough, I'm not working hard enough. I'm sad how there are people who only see things they want to see and not really what's going on underneath. I'd say "siapa makan cili terasa pedasnya" but I don't think he'll notice. I'm sad because I am constantly reminded of Arwah Auntie Oni. Yes, I pray for her all the time. As much as I try to shut these feelings out, they'll just keep coming back. I remember how the last taxi ride I took was with her, I remember how there was a sketch I did while I was with her in the hospital. I remember how she'd enjoy having me over her house. I remember how I was just like her own daughter. I remember how that one Raya, I went back with her to KL.

God, why am I talking about this. Forget about it, okay. I don't know why I did this in the first place. It's so pathetic, really.

Ya Allah, I'm sorry.
I think I remember the blue cheongsam :'(

October 26, 2010

October 24, 2010

October 16, 2010


Is it okay if I get a long white flowy skirt and wear something like this to the koperasi high-tea? Or maybe that jersey dress from Zara? Yeah. We'll see.

October 15, 2010

take me away from here

This is keeping my mind off of things at the moment. It would be best to just let me finish this, and I'll be eternally greatful. I know I might not be at the top of my league in my studies right now, but I'm trying alright. I really am. Yes, you may say that I'm not giving it any effort but you have no bloody idea.

Nobody is saying the right things I need to hear, that's all I can say.
I'm still very much here. You know why? The camping got cancelled, that's why. Sigh. I was looking forward to it. It doesn't matter now. The only thing I'm looking forward to right now is continuing the mural tomorrow and next week's lintas hormat for the form five graduation. And the koperasi's annual high-tea is on the 30th. Something else to be looking forward to. I feel like buying the dress from Zara which I previously posted. The floor-length one.

Right now, I want to get over today. I kinda feel cheated on.

October 13, 2010

we're only shadows

This sounds like something that would end up in an episode of Gossip Girl.

October 10, 2010

October 9, 2010

if you love me won't you let me know

Johnny's guitar riffs makes me get goosebumps.
Hi. Some self-loving here, excuse me, but I got bored.

So well, my mood has been going on and off. I spent nearly my whole morning crying. Yesterday I cried too which, considering the situation, was kinda pathetic. Last Saturday, I was mooning about in art class, I got mad at Darrell and every other single person who ticked me off. Hormones are so tiring. But I guess after a while they just stop bugging you. I feel much better today, even if I did get mad just now. Its okay I guess. They come, they go.

Lately though, I haven't been able to sketch properly. Like, seriously, my sketches are haywire. I actually tore out two pages out of my sketch book. God-knows whats wrong with me. I'm even getting worn out painting. The painting I'm working on right now is still a work in progress. I've spent nearly three weeks on it now. But because I was indescribably chirpy today, I'm almost done with it. Just some details and that's it. Hm.

Kem Kemahiran is this 15th. Even so, I haven't even distributed the forms to those who are going. But most of them are form threes. Okay, fine, 3/4 of them are form threes. Ergo, I have to wait for PMR to end. For what it's worth though, I'm going for camp! Haha. I swear I miss camping. Although I got to camp for the orienteering in Wetlands the other day, it wasn't that fun. One, there wasn't any of the kelanas; two, there seemed to be no one I knew-or maybe it's just me; three, I still prefer Scout camps.

Ugh. So, lets see, I have to study for finals, go for camp, help Cikgu Syam with the lintas hormat for the form fives' grad and, somehow, survive? It's possible.

October 3, 2010

October 2, 2010


I'll be back tomorrow. Bye XX

October 1, 2010

great, just great

I ate maggi the night before my trip to Putrajaya. Because I was lazy, I used hot water. Mum scolded me for not eating propperly. Out of ignorace, I obviously ignored her. As I was about to lift the bowl, hot water came sloshing down the sides. My left hand was burnt the worst. I spent the whole night with an ice pack and Repairil gel, meant for muscle pains, but it was cooling enough and, I was desperate. I thought I'd go to Guardian before heading out to Putrajaya. Lucky enough, the ice pack and Repairil gel was soothing enough. It only hurt a little the next day.

This is what they call "Tuhan bayar cash". Sorry mum.

I'm back from Putrajaya. Well, I've been back since yesterday. No, the girls' team didn't win. Punched the control card wrongly. The guys however, they won consolation. I guess Cikgu Syam was kind of broken hearted which is...understandable. I guess I could say that we trained with a top gun. But anyway, the guys placed number 5 out of the other 20 schools who participated which is cool. And congrats to Syaza, Aisyah, Atiqah and Hafizuddin who went out for the kuiz pelancongan the same day we went to Putrajaya and placed third! YEAH. Go SVians!

Now that orienteering is over, I need to think about RAE. I've studied and I can actually understand. Still have to read on the electrics and electronics. Also not to forget, kem kemahiran on the 15th. It's good to keep me occupied. I feel so disturbed.

Other than that, I passed my grade 3 with a merit. Haha!